I have a problem...

So there's this problem with the world that I think I need to share. Well, there's several, let's make a list shall we? (On a side note, I just love lists! I'm not OCD or anything, but lists just make me feel so much more productive and organized. I should make them more often...)

1. Self-esteem/ body image. A couple of my friends recently published blogs about how they feel about themselves. The first of these two, Charla (see her blog here) talks about how she is just now beginning to see how beautiful of a person she is, but not many people have told her that in her life, and let me tell you, she is amazing! She is absolutely beautiful in both looks and personality. She is strong, independent, stubborn, and intelligent. But I think people get intimidated by her presence. She commands the attention of a room and had an amazing ability to both share what she believes and respect what you believe. It's wonderful! My second friend, Samantha (see her blog here) talks in her blog about how she has struggled with self esteem because of her weight. She was teased about it all through school and was even christened with the very demeaning nickname "Shamu," which led to depression and eating disorders. My lovely friend Samantha is just as beautiful as my friend Charla, but so different at the same time. While Charla is outgoing and pumped up, Samantha has such a calming and peaceful quality. She's like a fuzzy blanket on a cold day, or the cool side of the pillow on a summer's night. She wraps you up in comfort and instils a sense of security and you know you can talk with her about anything.
I think one of the most beautiful things about these two people, though, is that they are not looking for pity, they just want understanding and to share their experiences with the world, making it known that people aren't alone when they face these problems.
I have been in similar boats with these two, and I still struggle with self-esteem. It's hard to see yourself as beautiful when culture and the media tell us that only the flawless and perfectly shaped girls get the happy ending, but I make it a goal to try and see the beauty in everyone. NOT just the outer beauty. But the beautiful personality inside. Each of us is unique and I am so glad for it.
2. Bullying. I'm not going to say much here, other that that it leads to self-esteem issues for both parties. Instead, read the words of someone much more eloquent than myself. His name is Dan and he has a really great blog. There is one about bullying kids (Memoirs of a Bullied Kid) and one about treating people unfairly just because they are different (I'm Christian, unless you're gay). Both are two of the most beautiful and heart-wrenching things I've ever read. I'm so glad Dan is able to write these things to be shared with the world.
3. Eating disorders. I have a confession here. I was anorexic in Junior High school and going in to High School. I think I did a pretty good job of hiding it from most people. I'd pretend to eat around my family, but since we never really had "sit-down" dinners, it was quite easy to get away with. And for the past few months I have been trying to lose weight. I took a tae kwon do class (which was a terrible idea as a grad student, I'm telling you!) and wasn't that committed. But I walked to and from school almost daily and ate less that I used to, but I still seem to be gaining weight. I have to actual way to verify this as I do not own a scale, but my pants are snug, and that's enough proof for me. So at the beginning of the break while thinking about New Year's resolutions, I had thoughts of becoming anorexic again. Not for a long time, just for a few months until I lost some weight, right? I keep trying to snap my self out of this, so any word of encouragement here would be helpful. Sadly, I am at an all-time high in my weight. I would guess (based on my last weigh in) that I weigh about 270 lbs. It's pretty depressing to know that according to those numbers I am considered morbidly obese by doctors. *sigh* Ok, leaving this topic with one last note: eating disorders are on the rise. Not just anorexia and bulemia, but overeating and unhealthy obsessions with food in general. It's definitely a problem here.
Alright, that is my list of three things wrong with the United States right now. I did have another post to publish here, but it was too personal and too hard to publish, so I wrote this instead. With just the slightest hints of the personal problems that may some day be shared. Until next time, I hope this New Year treats you well and I'm sending all of you my love. If you have any questions or concerns about what I've written, please feel free to post here or to e-mail me here. Thanks for your support.
~Mika~